1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
why didn't you poke me back
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize