I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize