If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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