Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize