aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
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Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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