as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize