in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize