Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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