the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize