even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ass is underappreciated
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize