I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize