In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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