as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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