At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize