Can i not drive my cunt home
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I could make wine with my vomit
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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