I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize