Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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