tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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