turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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