just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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