That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
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Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
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I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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