Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
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I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
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Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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