Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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