I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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