I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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