My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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