Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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