I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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