fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
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How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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