You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize