yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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