Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I have fence marks all over my body
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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