ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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