my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize