Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
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He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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