Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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