Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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