he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
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He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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