she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize