you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize