It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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