How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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