He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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