At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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