He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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