upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize