You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
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I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
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