Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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