We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize