and you said cock pushups were impossible
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
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He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
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hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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